Thanks for the continued sarcasm. I would ask you to perform the stated use case again just to be sure.
You apparently have a magical SP3, either that or the i3 version has considerable less fan noise, which might be likely as it produces less heat.
It's certainly not 'deafening' -not that I've seen anyone claim that. However it can be distracting and can get loud. Users are not simply lying / or making this up. There are plenty of youtube videos where people have recorded the fan noise also. I have seen my i5 version produce sounds similar to the video I'm linking to below both during video play back and while using the screen saver on AC power.